christmas

its that time of year again.
oh joy.

im so behind on christmas presents.
but i got a puppy. cutest thing ever.
nyika. it means earth..

mmmm

bliss.


yes. im free from my shell of negativity. im healthy, happy, and unstoppable.

lookout world.
im back.

the last post...

...wasnt relevant to my current situation.

im no longer lingering on the bad/sad chapters in my life.
im moving on.



i love having crushes on boys.
hes a great guy. =] im well on my way to being giddy.
oh, and hes a great kisser too.
score baby.


and the good times have returned.

here it goes again

if i could write you a million poems i would
i do it daily anyway.
if i could show you that i can be good,
you wouldnt need to swing in and save me.
although you are always on my mind
i know ive passed with the times
my heyday is long in the past,
im the soft spot in the cast.
im so last year
so last month
but not any date thats near
you dont care if i sigh or follow with a cry
its goes in and out both of your ears
boy dont play these games
im out here again
always rooting for your team
and there you go
you pass real slow
to let the rejection engulf me.
i hate being in your presence
the feelings swell up
and i cant shut my goddamn mouth.
i hate when your gone
and listen to songs
reppin that gangsta ass south.
you always outdid me
in every style
in every single way
still i would walk for miles
and sweep the streets just to clear the way.
the way to my heart is very concealed
and somehow you found it right away
and tagged your name all over my chest
its like a losing chess game.
all hope is gone but i still push on
and hope we can jump back in time
to the times that we both could look in our souls
and see the connecting line
intertwined in a way that not even words cant say
but feelings can only project
no matter how many hours pass
you'll still be my best
and i loved you.
what else can i say?

scatterbrained

"Now I can't seem to get it
and in my mind I'm bettin
My times made up, I gotta go
and its alright if you want
to see through your tomorrow,
but right now I gotta go"





i hate school.
i love winter.
the cold brings me hope.

never neverland

god damn.
i hate this feeling. i miss the past.
i miss bonnaroo. i wish life were like bonnaroo.
ha.
but really. im so frustrated with the way things have been going.
i miss michelle so much.
like i cant even begin to explain it.
since shes been gone, its like my world is self destructing and theres nothing i can do but watch it crumble.
i miss mary too. i miss our girls nights.
i guess i just need a good dosage of some sappy bff love, and cati isnt the sappiest person. haha.


the thing i miss the most about the past, is myself. im so different.
i dont like it.
at all.

i dont want to grow up. someone take me to neverland.
please.

oh, uncurable human-ness

oh, october. how i love thee. you bring us good weather and halloween as well as the austin city limits music festival.

acl was pretty fantastic. but as usual, i met a really cool guy halfway through the last day. what great luck. haha. friday it was supposed to rain, but it was just hot and sunny all day and i got a little toasted. saturday it was overcast and drizzly all day and sunday, zilker park was a giant fishy-smelling mud pit.

highlights:
FUCKING GIRLTALK - girl talk puts on a high energy show with great lighting and lots of crowd participation. if anyone ever gets a chance to see girl talk, GO. it was my third girl talk show and i can say i still genuinely enjoyed myself. i felt like i was going to die waiting for the show to start. after 3 days of music festival festivities, being pounded on by the sun and packed shoulder to shoulder with hot sweaty people for an hour with a small amount of water is very difficult. but i had thought it was going to rain that day, so i had my umbrella. we used it as a sunshield/ fan by moving it up and down and within 5 minutes the crowd looked like a sea of umbrella jellyfish.

the staff walking right by me and tucker blazing- we were smoking pretty far back in the crowd and one of the festival employees walked right next to us and hesitated. we both thought we were going to get kicked out or something but she merely just smiled, winked and carried on. yessss.

the toadies- i was by myself almost the whole day sunday and i took advantage of the oppurtunity to make friends. i worked my way as close to the front of the stage as i could, befriended some friendly stangers and loaded up a few bowls. we jammed to the toadies together (FUCKING INCREDIBLE) and i ended up bonding with one guy over bonnaroo stories. overall, a great success.

mute math- amazing live performance. i was left speechless. go to their shows and prepare to be blown away. the drummer is incredible and the music is just great.

the house of torment- although it is not in acl, i did go to a hounted house while i was in austin. it was in fact, quite creepy. the characters they had were very well portayed and some of them freaked me the fuck out.good scenery, good actors, good lighting, ggood themes, and good costumes. they would jump out of every corner,and since i was brave enough to be in the back, they would follow me and breathe down my neck or just follow me and wait until i noticed and would scare the shit out of me. if they got too close or wouldnt stop harassing me, i would tell them i had swine flu, and in the next flash of the stobe light, they would be nowhere to be seen. i also got a monster to say vagina. and if they would breathe on my neck too much, i would blow in their faces or roar at them. i left the haunted house laughing. i win this time, terror.

the yeah yeah yeahs- so basically karen o. is my idol. the end.

my all night philisophical conversation with tucker- although we kept alex up the whole night, tucker and i had a super awesome all night convo about my favorite topics of conversation from death, religion, astronomy, armageddon, philosophy, politics, to drugs. everything. so high five to you, tucker, for being an awesome person to share ideas with.

so overall i had a very fun and eventful 4 day weekend in the ATX. tomorrow i shall return to the real house of torment, lamar, where there is probably swine flu oozing from the walls and blowing in my teachers faces wont make them leave. boo.

the countdown to ACL '10 has begun.

p.s. drank really does slow your roll. i came home and passed out. im a huge fan. not to mention its yummy and purple. score for drank.